Tuesday, October 11, 2011

For USA: Bullshit Standard is Better than Gold Standard

Just for Fun Series of Nonsense

File:Hereford bull large.jpg
American Bull

In quiet moments have you ever wondered if this country is completely full of Bullshit? Have you privately wondered if this could actually be true?

Have you noticed a complete absence of truth coming from leaders, experts, politicians and institutions?

It is disturbing isn’t it, that we have sunk to this. It is a terrible thing when the standards of a nation have dropped to the level of droppings.

But on the other hand, is this really a bad thing?! Is this a blessing in disguise, with American ingenuity can we turn this around? The silver lining of our manure is its presence as an enormous national resource.

Right now, calls are increasing for a Gold Standard, the reasoning being that the US has a lot of Gold. But brighter minds are responding with an even better standard for American interests: the BULLSHIT STANDARD. Their argument is that the USA has a far greater supply of Bullshit than gold, more than any nation on the planet by far. 

Conservatives are now calling for a gold standard. As the US economy declines and Europe writhes in Euro turmoil, the US needs an anchor to boost its flagging finances. The gold standard bases the value of a currency on gold. A dollar is redeemable for gold rather than for US goods or investments which are now questionable. 

The advantage of a gold standard is that a nation with a lot of gold will have a high value currency and thus a strong economy. At this point the US needs all the help it can get.  

The US has the most gold in gold reserves on the planet, thus, a gold standard would make the US economy the world’s largest, no contest. Good bye, mortgage fiasco and recession and deficit; Hello, Golden Days of Post-World War II Glory again. 

Instantly, the US would be the largest economy, and this would have nothing to do with production or economic health -- just gold inventories. 

The USA currently has an estimated 8100 tons in gold reserve. Our nearest competitor Germany has 3400 tons in reserve, this puts the USA way ahead of Germany.

But there are big problems with the Gold Standard idea. One is that the amount of US gold is about $512 billion at the current price of $1784 an ounce (when this article was written).

But the amount of money supply in the nation composed of bank deposits, money in circulation, money market accounts etc. adds up to over $9 trillion. So practically speaking there is not enough gold to establish a gold standard, a gold redeemable dollar. Further, it would have to be rationed out and this would not be democratic.

Large amounts of paper and electronic dollars would be exchanged for metallic, substantial, heavy gold coins. Another problem with the gold standard is that in a recession, as we have now, people will hoard their gold coins rather than spend or invest them. This would make the recession much worse because people will bet on gold and not on businesses, insuring the continuation of our economic malaise. Economic, business and financial focus would be on one’s safety deposit box filled with bullion and not on finding ways to restart our economy.

Also, according to a new school of economists, the gold standard is timid, short-term thinking. What if Venezuela strikes a huge mother lode of gold while drilling for oil, or what if the Iranians find out how to convert their un-enriched uranium into gold!!?? These are the fears and concerns of forward thinking academics. 

There is a standard that the US would excel at and no other nation could ever, ever overtake America -- and this standard would be the Bullshit Standard. 

World famous economist Trevor Van Cookie explains: “If the dollar was based on the Bullshit Standard, this would mean we would be the richest country in the world for perhaps a thousand years. The estimated tonnage of gold reserve is nothing compared to the probable amount of Bullshit tonnage in the USA. It is speculated to be on the order of 100 Trillions of Tons. There is just that much Bullshit in the America. You have no idea!” 

Bullshit in the US is everywhere: Politicians make it, CEOs sling it, companies manufacture it, marketing and consumerism measure it, offshore oil drillers spew it, bankers turn it into mortgage backed securities, media rains it, Hollywood imagines it and the internet collects it.

Obama made many campaign promises to citizens but we must conclude now that these pledges were simply Bullshit.

The Tea Party which claims it is for “freedom” is busily defending the interests of big corporations and the rich with deregulation and low or no taxes. So we must conclude it is Bullshit too.

And if you were watching the budget negotiations in Congress, well, it looked liked Bullshit to most of us.

The US is mired in bullshit and it is a wonder that few people bother to point it out.

And the amount of Bullshit grows. According to experts, this cache of wealth does not even include the Bullshit amassed by ordinary citizens! The Private Bullshit in some closets, garages and disk drives might be astounding.  

Moreover, the amount of Bullshit stored in some people’s heads may be the biggest cache of all! Researchers are working on ways to extract it without causing harm to technicians. 

Imagine a Bullshit Standard to back the US Dollar! No other country on the planet would come close to us! We could sell Bullshit treasury bonds based upon our national wealth of bullshit at a Bullshit interest rate.

No other country could come near us. And if they did, well, we would maintain the Bullshit Gap, we would build thousands of Bullshit Incubators to research and develop Bullshit of new innovative types – because if anyone knows Bullshit, it is US!

Cage Innoye

  Axxiad Bullshit News
File:Hereford bull large.jpg
File:Hereford bull large.jpg

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